beautiful disaster
01.26.2005 // 2:02 p.m.i'm all stressed out about school today... i just *barely* managed to eke out a paper on macbeth last nite and i have an enormous pile of schoolwork due today, none of which i've even started because just thinking about it is enough to send my hurtling to the bathroom to throw up... i do not deal well with stress...
there are other things going on too, things i'd rather not get too much into... eating issues... and part of having food issues for me is feeling very on edge... or should i say... on the edge of a complete breakdown... the slightest thing bothers me today... everything feels so polluted & dirty... my body, the world...
i feel like i must vacuum and that i must clean windows and mops floors... and eradicate dust and pet hair... even though this too is ridiculous... because everything is already immaculate... i will never get my schoolwork done if i don't get rid of this urge to clean... and the only way to do that... is to clean...
i hate feeling this way... i just want to curl up in the corner and cry...
